Love is coming back
I am suspected to be a narcissist. Like, NPD, Narcissistic personality disorder. I met this guy, a few years ago, and I fell inlove with him.
We fought, a bunch. He kept abandoning me, we were toxic. It hurt my perception of love, and I couldn’t feel anything but apathy towards him. Well, until recently.
He came back, and I was scared. I didn’t know what would happen, would I be stuck in that cycle again? I wouldn’t want that. I wouldn’t want to be hurt one more time.
But… No. He and I worked together. He stopped running from fights, and I started communicating. We’ve been like this for months now. Upwards of.. 3? Not too much, but… It is progress.
People’s words mean little to nothing to me. when I vent, I don’t do it out of a wish to be understood or to feel a human connection, I want people’s pity, but even then, it doesn’t last too long.
He made me tear up, yesterday. I was having a meltdown, I was struggling to breathe, and I wanted help. He spoke for less than 30 minutes, and I teared up so much I couldn’t see.
I think I may be beginning to fall back in love with him. I think… I think I am healing. I think everything will be okay.